2017. 痔瘡治療

一年後又回郵政醫院治療痔瘡.

多數人聽到我又回來治療的反應是 : 阿? 那沒效阿! 怎麼又去了?  我倒是覺得這是一個生活重練的機會,去年處理後又輕忽了身體,所以今年又得打掉重練, 也就是說痔瘡是會反覆復發,一切起因於自己,跟醫生無關, 郵政醫院的醫生真的 惠"痣友"良多!

其實這次血便發作在1月中旬,發作前幾個月非常愛吃辣,無辣不歡,也晚睡,一月初皮膚冬季濕疹癢去看中醫治療,當時有輕微的腸躁症徵狀,吃了中藥後排便次數增加,導致肛門過度使用,我的痔瘡又出血了. 出血的狀況 有時是滴滴答答有時是噴出來的血,有時有便意上廁所卻只是滴滴答答的流出紅色血液滲透了清澈的水,沒有排便.  雪上加霜是冬季濕疹又來第二回,這次去黃禎憲皮膚科看診,吃了抗組織胺的藥一次,塗抹藥膏,洗澡前先上凡士林在洗澡,皮膚問題完全致霸.

出血的狀況在1月的月經後更顯得嚴重,卡在將過農曆年,緊接著二月的經期, 給自己一個月的時間,泡屁股,擦藥膏,調整身體(過年熬夜),自我療癒一個月,若228連續假日前還是沒改善,就要找醫生治療,224持續出血中,掛了225診,一切交給醫生. 恩~~ 處理後,好好的休息,接下來就要靠自己了. 

Weekly reveiw (2016. 11 15) part 2

The way of communication.  I applied it to kids. I try to listen and empathy for what kids say, 
it works well.  When I am trying to show empathy to kids, new thoughts (the positive one) 
came out of my mind and make the anger kids looks somehow cuter.  


1st week of execute communication, momoko keeps challenge me and nanako kept showing 
momoko the way I treated them.  I was the 3rd party in these situations.  I clearly see how 
bad I was for two girls before.  Shamed on me.  I told nanako it is okay, let’s leave momoko 
alone and ignore momoko’s behavior for a while. Once she recoveried, she will be able to 
behavior in usual way (angel).  It lasts more than two weeks now, and kids got repaired 
because mother is not so sharp/hard on them, and then I found girls could treat each other 
with more tolerance and patience.  But only if I was in good condition, sometimes 
(fewer time than before) when I was tired, my impatience uncontrolled showing out.  

Keep positive by doing the 5 things. and increase times in daily.   
Exercise everyday. 


I am aware of my emotions, release or repair.  
I should increase mediation times.  
Go back to talk to my inner child.
Keep do something positive.  Make POSITIVE POWER MAXMIUM.
When positive minus negative and there's positive left, then I could call it a good day. 



oh, one more thing.  I have to share my plant.  
I place the growing apple seeds next to grapefruit seed, 
Though, the smallest one (3rd one) of apple seed died, 
others grow very well.  My apple seeds grow up and have heart 

shape leaves.    

Weekly review (2016.11.15) - part 1

The 1st 6 weeks session is end, I kept Teacher’s words in mind.  She said I deserve to live better, and leave others of family members alone, take good care of myself.  

I am thinking about how to be positive day by day without the teacher’s accompany & instruction?  Could I do it well by myself?  In fact, difficulties and troubles come after me last week.  These hit my weakness, and I have to be mindful about handling them properly.  

1^st one is sister’s financial problem.  She is short of fund all the time and always tries to borrow money from me, which I was not affordable and I don’t have spare money to meet her request.  She used to want me to re-loan more money by using my house or using my credit to loan from bank.  It is way too hard to say NO for a sister.  But now, I think I did a right thing.  A no is no.  Don’t have to feel guilty for others forcing you to do something out of your ability.  It is a hurt not a love.  If she really love you, she should take good care of herself, no matter in healthy or her finance.  And I have to take care of myself and my kids first.  Once she found she couldn’t borrow money from me, she asked me to buy down jacket for kids. These were not big money but money indeed.  Well, if that would compensate my guilty, I did it.  I bought them from online and sis does not have to pay for the jackets.  It seems no end of sis. Issue.  She texted me on Friday (the day I was off), she wanted me to give dad $2000 because dad is running out of money, so does she.  She told me that she gave Dad $2000 Sunday, however, dad told me on the Sunday, he did not take the money sis. Gave him, he returned it to her… Does someone lie me?  I trust dad, so…. Whatever, tracing by money makes people do something to someone unexpectedly.  I should keep them in my mind.  When she texted me, I simply told sis. I will meet dad in the noon on Friday.  Then, I had a date with dad, I prepared lunch box for dad.  The time we took money from ATM, sis was so closed to us because she was chatting with neighbor and I did not notice that.   What an coincidence, the GOD wants sis to watch this.  Dad said actually, he still have money, he was trying sis…. (well, nice try, and made me rethink, sis. nature is somehow changed because of her big financial problem)

I am confused about sis. and bro. behaviors.  Why don’t they face their financial problems and fix it?  How could sis. support finance to big bro. and make herself in a finance trouble and always asked for me to do same sacrifice for her? Though I did not help her.  How could big bro. never face his financial problem?  He have to cutting down his expenses, like buying books, jogging and limit his desire?  If “LOVE” made them live in this kind of life, it is very sick to love each other like this.  Did mom love us same way? (Good question to deep thinking)

2^nd one is poor experience.  Shwan did not have a job for 2 years and he started online business.  The night Shawn talked to his partner in a long conversation made me aware of Mei-An business is not a business at all.  They want people to join in and invest money (seems a small money per time but long run & plus no income is investing a large amount of money) and spent a lot of time to enroll more people to join in.  The attraction is the perspective/vision they offered but too far/hard to reach.  The way they paid you is from what you’ve invested into.  The one who successes is these talkers or have personal charisma.  Does he have? Double income is essential for us.  He did not have income and saving is little, how could we survive from this kind of situation?  His background is everything on his own, so how could he live or raise kid without a job?  It made me worrying.  I dislike poor because of child experience.  The poor, tracing money and unaffordable desires made me fear and that kind of fearful feeling rooted into my mind.  Mom is the good example of living in poor whole life.  I don’t want to be the 2^nd.  However, will I?  Mom creates a new condition for me, should I be worried?  I am capable to make money and to raise kid.  Well, I should focus on my own life and raise kids with good plan of my finance.  That will avoid the fearful feel of poor hit me.

3^rd one is insurance issue.  Classmates visited me for providing me a saving version of insurance premier.  Is it really a good one?  Should I switch the original to this new one?  Have to think it thoroughly. 

              

養成心靈富足

養成心靈富足 以充裕的愛與陪伴餵養女孩們

日子依舊,只是心態不同,難關比較不會卡關太久,好像5條命快用完了還能求救,多幾條命延續著闖關.

天冷,女孩們在穿著上依舊有她們的堅持,要穿裙子短褲配某色褲襪,不能顯胖,要看起來腿長顯瘦,除了自己喜歡外,還要穿到學校讓大家覺得你真得搭配的不錯. 配哪一件上衣? 總嫌棄媽媽幫她買的新衣服太醜,穿不出門, 真的喜歡的又太大件只能當睡衣. 孩子的總結總會是我都沒有衣服穿啦~怎麼去學校??? (媽媽的真心話是"孩子,不管怎樣你最後都得去學校阿~" )

如果跟女孩們認真了,媽媽還真是上輩子欠她們太多. 媽媽用旁觀者的角度陪伴,給予建議,離開靜止一下,然後聽到女兒再度哀嚎,再次呼叫媽媽,再一次給穿搭建議,談不上穿搭建議,單純的把已經講過得可以穿得裙褲再重複一次,通常,媽媽的建議對於她們來說都是"怎麼可能這樣穿出門?" "你的配色太黑太暗沉." "媽媽你都不懂啦" 與女孩們這樣的討論是一整個煩瑣耗時耗能的過程,慶幸大部分早晨有爸爸接送少了時間的壓力(雖然都送到遲到,但是那是送與被送者應該檢討的問題,媽媽就不要參雜進去了), 我能在一再跳針鬼打牆的討論中窺探小女孩們的內心世界與思維,用認同的態度同理她們, 才能處理好小女孩的糾結,這需要多麼扎實的心靈富足才足以應付.,呼應了第五堂課的溝通.

溝通就是了解彼此的想法，需要
知道對方在想什麼，需要什麼, 你可給對方什麼 , 對方也可知道你要什麼

@切記，溝通如有衝突一定要把你的想法和love 完整表達出來

溝通3步驟:

1~願意傾聽（專心用心聽）首要的, 懸著一顆很願意陪伴的心等待……對方發球
2- 接納對方言語（切記勿打斷話素）
接納是接納孩子當下……的情緒感覺的一切，而非事實道德是非的評斷

先接收再重述對方語言一遍
（有和對方站一起的同理，也順便整個，一免聽錯，或語意的誤解）

3- 解決問題 -- 溝通是為了解，為了解決問題，為了達成共識

“”了解“”則是一切料理的基底

 溝通元素就是 “聽和說”