Weekly review (2016.11.15) - part 1

The 1st 6 weeks session is end, I kept Teacher’s words in mind.  She said I deserve to live better, and leave others of family members alone, take good care of myself.  

I am thinking about how to be positive day by day without the teacher’s accompany & instruction?  Could I do it well by myself?  In fact, difficulties and troubles come after me last week.  These hit my weakness, and I have to be mindful about handling them properly.  

1^st one is sister’s financial problem.  She is short of fund all the time and always tries to borrow money from me, which I was not affordable and I don’t have spare money to meet her request.  She used to want me to re-loan more money by using my house or using my credit to loan from bank.  It is way too hard to say NO for a sister.  But now, I think I did a right thing.  A no is no.  Don’t have to feel guilty for others forcing you to do something out of your ability.  It is a hurt not a love.  If she really love you, she should take good care of herself, no matter in healthy or her finance.  And I have to take care of myself and my kids first.  Once she found she couldn’t borrow money from me, she asked me to buy down jacket for kids. These were not big money but money indeed.  Well, if that would compensate my guilty, I did it.  I bought them from online and sis does not have to pay for the jackets.  It seems no end of sis. Issue.  She texted me on Friday (the day I was off), she wanted me to give dad $2000 because dad is running out of money, so does she.  She told me that she gave Dad $2000 Sunday, however, dad told me on the Sunday, he did not take the money sis. Gave him, he returned it to her… Does someone lie me?  I trust dad, so…. Whatever, tracing by money makes people do something to someone unexpectedly.  I should keep them in my mind.  When she texted me, I simply told sis. I will meet dad in the noon on Friday.  Then, I had a date with dad, I prepared lunch box for dad.  The time we took money from ATM, sis was so closed to us because she was chatting with neighbor and I did not notice that.   What an coincidence, the GOD wants sis to watch this.  Dad said actually, he still have money, he was trying sis…. (well, nice try, and made me rethink, sis. nature is somehow changed because of her big financial problem)

I am confused about sis. and bro. behaviors.  Why don’t they face their financial problems and fix it?  How could sis. support finance to big bro. and make herself in a finance trouble and always asked for me to do same sacrifice for her? Though I did not help her.  How could big bro. never face his financial problem?  He have to cutting down his expenses, like buying books, jogging and limit his desire?  If “LOVE” made them live in this kind of life, it is very sick to love each other like this.  Did mom love us same way? (Good question to deep thinking)

2^nd one is poor experience.  Shwan did not have a job for 2 years and he started online business.  The night Shawn talked to his partner in a long conversation made me aware of Mei-An business is not a business at all.  They want people to join in and invest money (seems a small money per time but long run & plus no income is investing a large amount of money) and spent a lot of time to enroll more people to join in.  The attraction is the perspective/vision they offered but too far/hard to reach.  The way they paid you is from what you’ve invested into.  The one who successes is these talkers or have personal charisma.  Does he have? Double income is essential for us.  He did not have income and saving is little, how could we survive from this kind of situation?  His background is everything on his own, so how could he live or raise kid without a job?  It made me worrying.  I dislike poor because of child experience.  The poor, tracing money and unaffordable desires made me fear and that kind of fearful feeling rooted into my mind.  Mom is the good example of living in poor whole life.  I don’t want to be the 2^nd.  However, will I?  Mom creates a new condition for me, should I be worried?  I am capable to make money and to raise kid.  Well, I should focus on my own life and raise kids with good plan of my finance.  That will avoid the fearful feel of poor hit me.

3^rd one is insurance issue.  Classmates visited me for providing me a saving version of insurance premier.  Is it really a good one?  Should I switch the original to this new one?  Have to think it thoroughly.